Scotland's the bonniest. Bonnier than Canada, I'd say. Towels hang straighter here, somehow.
Last night my flatmate, Jimmy (aka Haggis: King of the Crops), was playing the zombie game. He smoked this Canadian no-hoper named Jellybones right off the roof so many times. Classic.
Sometimes I wonder about Jamie. I tell everyone in Scotland that "my roommate pretty much fucking runs Telus. He'll fix the shit out of your cellphone."
They don't have Telus over here, I don't think. And they refer to cells as "mobiles." Still, they can tell from the way I speak that this guy is big time. In Scotland, Jamie is a god. Radiant beauty.
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